Are you my friend?

The most common questions I get asked by other teachers and students are, “do you have any friends?” and “do you have any Czech friends?” This past weekend I had a conversation about these questions with two of my Fulbright friends, Megan and Trisha, who also get asked these questions. Trisha noted that sometimes people we think are our Czech friends ask us these questions, which can sometimes be confusing for us.

Last Thursday, my student asked me in front of the class how many friends I have. Of course my response was a little sarcastic, “um… I can’t count them! How many friends do you have!?” The teacher that supervised my lesson explained that the student meant, “how many Czech friends do you have?” As I fumbled and tried to respond, I explained that it is hard to make Czech friends when I don’t speak fluent Czech, but I have friends. Then I said to the class, “and you can all be my friends too!” These questions jolted my self-esteem. Luckily, my last lesson on Thursday was about proms and graduations in the US and when I told the class I gave a speech at my high school graduation because I was class president, they were impressed and my confidence rose back up.

The truth is that I consider most of my acquaintances here to be my friends. I do not know if the feeling I get from these questions is a result of a cultural difference, a difference in how we ask questions about friendships, or a difference in what we consider friendship. Regardless, I can now say that I have American and Czech friends in Plzen and the events of the past week(end) have helped me solidify this.

While I know I have friends, I feel the urge to justify myself with an explanation of my jam-packed weekend: First, last Thursday night, I went to a meeting of the Foreigners of Plzen where I met other teachers and students from the Czech Republic and around the world. Then on Friday night I went to a hockey game with my new friend from Memphis and a group of Czech master's students. After the game, my friend from Memphis introduced me to one of the hockey players (who is from British Columbia) and then we ate onion rings at a bar with a few Russian men we met at the Foreigners meeting. On Saturday, I had a lovely girls day on the town with Megan and Trisha in Prague. And finally, yesterday, after playing two and a half hours of sports, my outdoor club was going to go to a bar and I was tired and going home. Some of the group members said, “can you come for just one beer?” While the fact that I travel so often creates a barrier to solidifying friendships, I feel like all this social activity gives me the power to say I have friends! And the true measure of all of this is the fact that I am not lonely.

Well, here is to another social weakened!

Wednesday: I am going to a birthday party for two of my students.
Thursday: Skype sessions with friends, teachers, and family at home.
Friday: I am attending a ball in a small village outside of Plzen.
Saturday: I am off to Prague for the day and then another ball in my friend Asha’s town.