The most common questions I get asked by other teachers and students are, “do you have any friends?” and “do you have any Czech friends?” This past weekend I had a conversation about these questions with two of my Fulbright friends, Megan and Trisha, who also get asked these questions. Trisha noted that sometimes people we think are our Czech friends ask us these questions, which can sometimes be confusing for us.
Last Thursday, my student asked me in front of the class how many friends I have. Of course my response was a little sarcastic, “um… I can’t count them! How many friends do you have!?” The teacher that supervised my lesson explained that the student meant, “how many Czech friends do you have?” As I fumbled and tried to respond, I explained that it is hard to make Czech friends when I don’t speak fluent Czech, but I have friends. Then I said to the class, “and you can all be my friends too!” These questions jolted my self-esteem. Luckily, my last lesson on Thursday was about proms and graduations in the US and when I told the class I gave a speech at my high school graduation because I was class president, they were impressed and my confidence rose back up.
The truth is that I consider most of my acquaintances here to be my friends. I do not know if the feeling I get from these questions is a result of a cultural difference, a difference in how we ask questions about friendships, or a difference in what we consider friendship. Regardless, I can now say that I have American and Czech friends in Plzen and the events of the past week(end) have helped me solidify this.
While I know I have friends, I feel the urge to justify myself with an explanation of my jam-packed weekend: First, last Thursday night, I went to a meeting of the Foreigners of Plzen where I met other teachers and students from the Czech Republic and around the world. Then on Friday night I went to a hockey game with my new friend from Memphis and a group of Czech master's students. After the game, my friend from Memphis introduced me to one of the hockey players (who is from British Columbia) and then we ate onion rings at a bar with a few Russian men we met at the Foreigners meeting. On Saturday, I had a lovely girls day on the town with Megan and Trisha in Prague. And finally, yesterday, after playing two and a half hours of sports, my outdoor club was going to go to a bar and I was tired and going home. Some of the group members said, “can you come for just one beer?” While the fact that I travel so often creates a barrier to solidifying friendships, I feel like all this social activity gives me the power to say I have friends! And the true measure of all of this is the fact that I am not lonely.
Well, here is to another social weakened!
Wednesday: I am going to a birthday party for two of my students.
Thursday: Skype sessions with friends, teachers, and family at home.
Friday: I am attending a ball in a small village outside of Plzen.
Saturday: I am off to Prague for the day and then another ball in my friend Asha’s town.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Maturitni Ples
During the final year of high school, students in the Czech Republic participate in a Maturitni Ples or graduation ball. This is an event equivalent to a combination of an American graduation and prom. I have been very fortunate to have been invited to a few of these balls - two of which I attended last weekend. Throughout a student's tenure in my high school they will stay with the same class, filled with the same students for every subject and every period of their four years. This means two things: 1. the students know each other very well by the end of high school and 2. that each and every class gets their own graduation ball.
How does a graduation ball work? Well after you enter the venue and check your coat you are suppose to find your seat or shmuz. The first ball I attended with a teacher from my school, and after we arrived we put our belongings at our table and then went to purchase drinks. However, at the second ball, which I attended with my Fulbright friend Asha, we were met with a red rose and escorted by arm to our table by two students whose ball it was. This ball was at a very elegant venue with a frescoed ceiling. Both balls were for two of my classes that only have male students. However, the first ball was shared with an all-girls class from a different school.
After sitting at our table, a band began to play and people began dancing. Around 9PM the students were introduced and performed dances. I was amazed by the students at the second ball and their choreographed dance. The evening’s theme was mafia and the students began their dance by pulling play-machine guns out and murdering half the class. Asha and I both gasped and decided that this would not have been allowed at any school event in the US. That being said, this was not a typical school-sponsored event because the students had to raise money and plan everything on their own. Yet, they are socially required to invite teachers and the principal. Anyway, after the shooting entrance, the students told a story through their dance of how the mafia was sent to prison, had a jail break, relaxed and danced with girls, had another mafia shootout, had a funeral, and then lived almost happily ever after. The choreography was so well done! None of the students missed a step and they were doing flips and very difficult moves. One teacher at my table, who I also share my office with, said that out of her 15 years of teaching this was the best dance she has ever seen!
After a short intermission a red carpet was rolled out and the students stood on the left of the carpet with their dates standing on the right side (this happened at both balls). An MC introduced each student who would meet his date and walk down the red carpet. During this time people in the audience, including balconies, threw real coins at the student. At the end of the carpet the student shook hands with their class-teacher (like and advisor that they have for all four years) and the principal. Then they were given a sash that said, “graduate 2013.” At the first ball the students were also given a glass of champagne, but at the second ball they were given a personalized and full beer mug. Once everyone walked the red carpet the students cleaned up all the coins, which they were supposed to divide evenly amongst each other or use to pay for the event.
The evening continued with a student-parent dance, student-teacher dance, and then everyone dancing, and an auction and sporadic performances by professional dancers. As a person who never had a cotillion, I have never had a reason or opportunity to learn how to waltz, foxtrot, mamba, etc. Before the first ball I did not have time to youtube a dance tutorial, so when my student asked me to dance with him it was my first experience waltzing. Of course, we had to waltz by his family’s table so they could take photos of us! Later that evening I had to do a quick step dance with another student who actually takes regular ballroom dancing lessons. When I returned to the teachers table and the teachers asked me if I had ever waltzed like that before, and I said no, they all cheered me and took sips of their wine. The second ball was more formal and a student asked me to dance and offered me his arm. Then all the teachers and students, arm-in-arm, circled the dance floor twice before beginning to waltz. Luckily, this student did not know how to dance either and we just kind of rocked back and forth talking. My students are true gentleman though because after each dance they took me in arm back to my seat.
At midnight on both evenings there was a "surprise," consisting of students dressing in drag or colorful outfits and doing another choreographed dance. Some students came to the stage in female lingerie, swimsuits, or just their underwear. Keep in mind, that a student’s entire family, friends, and teachers are at these graduations balls.
Despite some nervousness at the beginning of the evening, all my students were excited that this day had come. And they continued to celebrate by renting out a bar in the center of Plzen and staying out until early in the morning. One teacher who had to work the day after the ball told me that she stayed with the students until 5AM, while another teacher, who did not come to work the next day, stayed with the students until 8:30AM. Most of my students went home around 9AM, but one stayed out until 3PM the next day. I went to sleep around 2:30AM and was exhausted.
It was amazing to see and participate in this tradition! And I will be going to at least one more ball in January!
P.S. there is a raffle at the beginning of the evening and I won a to-go mug!
How does a graduation ball work? Well after you enter the venue and check your coat you are suppose to find your seat or shmuz. The first ball I attended with a teacher from my school, and after we arrived we put our belongings at our table and then went to purchase drinks. However, at the second ball, which I attended with my Fulbright friend Asha, we were met with a red rose and escorted by arm to our table by two students whose ball it was. This ball was at a very elegant venue with a frescoed ceiling. Both balls were for two of my classes that only have male students. However, the first ball was shared with an all-girls class from a different school.
After sitting at our table, a band began to play and people began dancing. Around 9PM the students were introduced and performed dances. I was amazed by the students at the second ball and their choreographed dance. The evening’s theme was mafia and the students began their dance by pulling play-machine guns out and murdering half the class. Asha and I both gasped and decided that this would not have been allowed at any school event in the US. That being said, this was not a typical school-sponsored event because the students had to raise money and plan everything on their own. Yet, they are socially required to invite teachers and the principal. Anyway, after the shooting entrance, the students told a story through their dance of how the mafia was sent to prison, had a jail break, relaxed and danced with girls, had another mafia shootout, had a funeral, and then lived almost happily ever after. The choreography was so well done! None of the students missed a step and they were doing flips and very difficult moves. One teacher at my table, who I also share my office with, said that out of her 15 years of teaching this was the best dance she has ever seen!
After a short intermission a red carpet was rolled out and the students stood on the left of the carpet with their dates standing on the right side (this happened at both balls). An MC introduced each student who would meet his date and walk down the red carpet. During this time people in the audience, including balconies, threw real coins at the student. At the end of the carpet the student shook hands with their class-teacher (like and advisor that they have for all four years) and the principal. Then they were given a sash that said, “graduate 2013.” At the first ball the students were also given a glass of champagne, but at the second ball they were given a personalized and full beer mug. Once everyone walked the red carpet the students cleaned up all the coins, which they were supposed to divide evenly amongst each other or use to pay for the event.
The evening continued with a student-parent dance, student-teacher dance, and then everyone dancing, and an auction and sporadic performances by professional dancers. As a person who never had a cotillion, I have never had a reason or opportunity to learn how to waltz, foxtrot, mamba, etc. Before the first ball I did not have time to youtube a dance tutorial, so when my student asked me to dance with him it was my first experience waltzing. Of course, we had to waltz by his family’s table so they could take photos of us! Later that evening I had to do a quick step dance with another student who actually takes regular ballroom dancing lessons. When I returned to the teachers table and the teachers asked me if I had ever waltzed like that before, and I said no, they all cheered me and took sips of their wine. The second ball was more formal and a student asked me to dance and offered me his arm. Then all the teachers and students, arm-in-arm, circled the dance floor twice before beginning to waltz. Luckily, this student did not know how to dance either and we just kind of rocked back and forth talking. My students are true gentleman though because after each dance they took me in arm back to my seat.
At midnight on both evenings there was a "surprise," consisting of students dressing in drag or colorful outfits and doing another choreographed dance. Some students came to the stage in female lingerie, swimsuits, or just their underwear. Keep in mind, that a student’s entire family, friends, and teachers are at these graduations balls.
Despite some nervousness at the beginning of the evening, all my students were excited that this day had come. And they continued to celebrate by renting out a bar in the center of Plzen and staying out until early in the morning. One teacher who had to work the day after the ball told me that she stayed with the students until 5AM, while another teacher, who did not come to work the next day, stayed with the students until 8:30AM. Most of my students went home around 9AM, but one stayed out until 3PM the next day. I went to sleep around 2:30AM and was exhausted.
It was amazing to see and participate in this tradition! And I will be going to at least one more ball in January!
P.S. there is a raffle at the beginning of the evening and I won a to-go mug!
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